"I am Carla, thy car, which will bring thee out of the land of Rhode Island, out of the Ocean State.
I. Thou shalt have no other car but me. Unless I break down, in which case it would not be Peter's fault.
II. Thou shalt not dine at any chain restaurants.
III. Thou shalt not take the name of the car in vain; even if thou art lost. Thou shall ask for directions, no matter how manly thou art.
IV. Remember the return day, June 7. Twenty-five days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the twenty-sixth day is the flight of the JetBlue, from Seattle returning home.
V. Call thy father and thy mother and take many pictures to share with them upon thy return.
VI. Thou shalt not kill each other.
VII. Thou shalt not play the music of Miley Cyrus.
VIII. Thou shalt not steal. Instead, thou shall be as frugal as possible, but not at the expense of merriment.
IX. Thou shalt not bear false hygiene against thy neighbor. Thou shall use deodorant even if thou dost not think thou needest. Trust me, thou doth.
X. Thou shall be gracious travelers.
Thou shalt not harass thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not harass thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his [mule], nor any thing that is thy neighbor's.
So let it be written, so let it be done."
And there you have it, the TEN COMMANDMENTS OF THE RHODE TRIP. In honor of the holiday week and, of course, Charton Heston.
