We Took A Nap(a) in Sonoma

TYPED JUNE 1:

This place? We hated it.

There is something to be said for being awoken in your bed in the dead of night by a phone call, a thunderclap, or a bad dream. However, being woken in your car in an unfamiliar parking lot at 2 a.m. by an angry stranger is far more alarming. This is what happened to us moments before years were sheered off my life.  We parked in a plaza lot in Vallejo, CA because it housed the closest Planet Fitness to Napa. We curled up in the lot, figuring that the watchful security officer would let us know if there was a problem sooner, rather than later. Either he was asleep on the job or he just didn’t want us to be, because it took the guy until 2 in the morning to decided that we weren’t welcome there. He banged on the window and flashed a light into the car, waking me from a dead sleep and scaring me half to death. The man was both profane loud and made it crystal clear that we had to vacate the lot immediately. I had some choice phrases of my own, but instead woke Pete and we booked it to the closest Wal Mart. What bothers us most is not the fact that we were bombarded at 2 a.m., but that the security guard left the other car campers in the area alone. Other than their fancy RV’s, what makes them better than us? Carla was especially insulted and feels that the incident was one of discrimination and ageism.  Pete aged about 50 years and I hit my head on the ceiling, but otherwise the event left us unharmed.  

When the sun rose, we realized that Vallejo was a rougher area than we had realized in the darkness of the night prior. It was kind of filthy in general and much of it had fallen into disrepair or else been replaced by fast food chains. The streets were crawling with local teenage hoodlums, many of whom had infant hoodlums of their own.  Apparently, it is the general consensus there that parking lot gravel is an appropriate play place for a baby.  I was mortified. Ironically enough, the Planet Fitness there was one of the nicest we’ve encountered.  Aside from a woman in the bathroom passing me an invitation to her “Plenty of Pleasure” party, the PF in Vallejo was rather clean, comfortable, and inoffensive. (That invitation, however, was not.) This seems to be a trend, that worse the area, the nicer the PF. This suited us just fine because we were in desperate need of a shower. Maybe Vallejo wasn’t so bad after all?

Unfortunately, I walked headlong into a pole the next morning at Planet Fitness and bruised the left half of my face. I had been watching the news on the tv’s hanging from the ceiling while walking towards the front door. What genius decided to put an I-beam in the middle of a patron pathway? Rather than blame it on our gym, my sleep deprivation, or general clumsiness, we’ve decided simply that Vallejo sucks and we are never going back there. In a PG version of Pete’s words, the place “is a toilet.”

Rutherford Hill Winery picnic area

Wine Country totally made up for our Vallejo fiasco. It was absolutely stunning and everything we’d been hoping for. We were lucky enough to snag an opening for a tour at a local winery, and we headed over there mid-morning. Napa was gorgeous and so peaceful. The miles of vineyards and farmland made us wish that those properties were affordable rather than millions of dollars. Oh, what I would do for a house in Napa… Everything about Napa was a luscious, from the endless green crops to the blooming flowers and luxurious homes. Everything was new money fancy, but not snooty. We knew that most of these locals owned purses worth more than our college educations, but we put that aside for the sake of the beautiful scenery. We did see an awful lot of Lamborghinis drive by, but we were too enthralled to be bothered.  Napa was stunning and we couldn’t wait to take our first winery tour.

Rutherford Hill Winery sat overlooking the countryside and was the perfect spot for our tour. An enthusiastic little gentleman named Jimmy was our guide and taught us all about the wine making process, from the grape to the bottle. This particular winery had caves where the wine was stored in barrels. Touring those was like walking through a scene out of Phantom of the Opera. The caves had the high arching ceilings, romantic lighting, and old-fashioned chandeliers that would make any classic villain feel right at home. What made us feel welcome, of course, was the fabulous wine we were sampling.  This winery was known for its Merlot, which we happily slurped down along with a Sauvignon Blanc, Cabernet, and a stiff reserved label Port. We sampled six wines overall as we toured the caves, the fermentation chamber, the grounds, and the picnic area.  We were by far the youngest couple on the tour and nobody seemed surprised when Pete choked on a sip that went down the wrong pipe. Unfortunately, this happened while we were in the caves and so his sputtering gags echoed and bounced off the cavernous corridors, much to our embarrassment.  I thudded him on the back and pretended not to light-headed after only two samples.  I would say we’ve never felt so immature, but I would be lying. We spent much of the drive in wine country pretending to be rich locals with fancy British accents. Let’s just say we’re in no hurry to grow up entirely, so showing our youth is nothing new. We accepted the judging stares and sniggered privately at an overly pruned guy who pretended to be a wine expert. Jimmy seemed to appreciate our energy though, and was nothing short of thrilled to answer our questions, no matter how naïve. The tour excellent, the wine superb, the result a lasting buzz. We were happy.  We ended the morning with a tipsy stroll through downtown Napa. We worked off the wine and worked up an appetite, one we quenched with an overloaded pizza at a local parlor.

Admit it, you watched this show too. 

We decided we’d gotten our fill in Napa and went in search of our next Planet Fitness. In doing this, we had to head through Sonoma. We should have set aside more time for this little town, it was too charming. We stumbled upon it and we are thrilled that we did. Sonoma had beautiful vineyards too, all wrapped around a picturesque town square, chock-full of little one-of-a-kind shops. Everything was wine themed, of course, but not to a fault. There was the perfect balance between kitsch and class, though everything was far too expensive for purchase. We did, however, feel the need to drop by Envolve Winery, the pride and joy of a former Bachelor. (Yes, as in the show The Bachelor on ABC.) I’ve been addicted to that garbage for years and have forced Pete to watch more than a few episodes. He humored me and we did a wine tasting in the very office built by the handsome fella we’d seen on TV. I was giddy aa Pete inquired about he current marital status of Bachelor Ben.  Unlike the pair of us, the counter girl was not amused. As if the reason she had that job isn’t to bag Bachelor Ben. PULEEZE.

A little plaza in Sonoma

After another successful tasting, we decided to take a walk around downtown Sonoma. It was a peaceful little slice of paradise, with a park, groups of giggling children, and laughing friends enjoying their wine in sunny cafés. We took advantage of the rich greenery of the park and plopped down on the grass to rest our eyes. This turned into an hour-long nap, one we didn’t realize we needed. Nobody around seemed to mind. In fact, several other people were doing the same. It was ultimate relaxation, watching the town go about it’s happy business as the sun set. It wasn’t until a motorcyclist was backed over by an SUV that we were snapped back into reality. He was totally fine, but the crack of his helmet hitting the pavement gave us a good fright. The town sheriffs descended like vultures and we headed back to our car.  Wine and a show? Sonoma ain’t bad.

Carla is still alive. Just now, something large and metal fell out from underneath the hood while we were driving. Pete says it’s nothing to worry about. * Insert YOLO here * So far, we’ve driven 5,608. This is much farther than our original anticipation, since we didn’t calculate for miles driven around our destinations, just through them.  Aside from a few wee issues, Carla is doing OK. The passenger visor fell off, so any time I need a mirror, I have to commandeer the rearview. Pete doesn’t like this, but a girl needs a mirror. Carla understands. She keeps overheating, but only at completely unexpected moments where there is no good place to pull over and check her. There is a nice whistling sound from the crack in the windshield or the seal in the doors, we aren’t sure which. She’s vibrating again, but we like to think that she’s just saying hello. Pete hasn’t felt the need to change the oil because we’ve had to add so much to it. Honestly, she’s chugging right along and we couldn’t ask for more. She’s taken a beating today since we cleared the northern chunk of California and driven the length of Oregon. It’s magnificent by the way, we couldn’t believe how quickly the scenery changed from farmland to evergreens and back again. We saw a llama in one of the pastures! Mt. Shasta was amazing, we drove right underneath on our way to Portland.  It was a relaxing drive, but a long one. Our last long haul of the trip! We spent it admiring the scenery and listening to NPR.

Tonight, we just want some food and some sleep. We can worry about showering and posting this tomorrow. Honestly, blogging is the biggest issue we're having right now. Sleeping in the car, showing at a gym, living like gypsies in a vehicle that has so far outlived me? No problem. But, trying to find decent WiFi in unfamiliar places? Nearly impossible. I type the posts en route,but then I have to find a way to post them. We've been just about everywhere and tried everything, from parking outside closed businesses in the dead of night, to taking up a restaurant table for hours just to sit by an outlet. People must think we're insane. Oh, and uploading photos? A nightmare. Each place has a whole set of business policies, some of which won't allow me to upload certain photos. For example, this place we're in now, it won't let me upload any photos with our faces in it. Why? No idea. Apparently they find us offensive in appearance. (Give us a break, we're living out of a Toyota.) I wasn't expecting this to be the difficult part! Pete is being a great sport about driving around strange towns in search of internet. I feel like a nomad journalist... Must sleep. 

Almost there!

~Liz, Pete, and Carla the Wonder Wagon